Here’s Exactly What’s Wrong with Michael Bay Messing Up the Ninja Turtles
I loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when I was a kid. I had all the toys. Thanks to my Dad, I was always there for opening weekend when one of the movies came out. I watched the cartoon daily. I even know who Ace Duck is. That’s why I was quite startled to hear … Read more
Where Will Peyton Manning Play in 2012?
By the time you read this, Peyton Manning may have already chosen his new team. Manning informed teams this weekend that he plans to make his decision by Monday or Tuesday. The final candidates? Denver, Arizona, Miami, San Francisco, and Tennessee (the Niners are the unofficial leaders in the clubhouse, with Miami and Arizona all but … Read more
The Do’s and Don’ts of March Madness
The NCAA Tournament is here. The opening round represents the two single greatest sports days of the year. Blink and you might miss something. Luckily, your boy is here to give you a full guide to maximizing your enjoyment of these holiest of days. Behold, the Opening Round Primer: Do take Thursday and Friday off. … Read more
Here’s Why I Don’t Drink At Airports Anymore
Because what if they have to ask me to land the plane? Think about it. Let’s say I’m cruising at 35,000 feet. My feet are up. The in-flight entertainment is a decent film. The seat next to me is empty, doubling my leg room. Everything’s seemingly going fine. So let’s say I decide to exercise my right as … Read more
I Have a Particular Set of Wolf Fighting Skills
Hello. My name is Liam Neeson. You may remember me from films such as Schindler’s List or The A-Team. Or maybe you remember me from Taken. In my newest film, The Grey, it has been brought to my attention that a bunch of wolves attempt to fight me. This is an open letter to those … Read more
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